Parent / Child Contract to Abstain from Illegal Substance Use 

Purpose

The parent/child contract is a tool to provide an incentive for your teenager to avoid illegal substances, or to terminate the use of illegal substance if that is already occurring.

• A formal contract helps to clearly define your mutual expectations for absintence from illegal substances, and outlines consequences for chemical use.
• Once the contract is initiated, any chemical use brings your child into violation of the contract and into conflict with their choice to use and illegal substance.

Why Do Parent / Child Contracts Work?

Teenagers believe that they ahve absolute power and control over their world.  When they  work with you to develop a contract, they generally sign it out of a sincere belief that they are in control of their chemical use.

• If they are able to refrain from chemical use, the contract has worked.
• If they are unable to refrain from chemical use, then the contract works by revealing their denail about chemical use.

Important Contract Guidelines for Parents

• Keep your contract simple.  It only needds to contain four elements:

0. Date of agreement.
0. Clear expectations of the child abstaining from all illegal substances.
0. Clear consequences for violation of contract.
0. Signatures of all parties agreeing to contract.

• Follow through with the consequences of the contract
• Use a business-like approach to the contracting process.

Actional Steps for Creating a Parent / Child Contract

Before beginning the contract process with your child:

0. List all possible consequences if your teen violates the contract.
0. List all the reasons you would follow through with the consequences.
0. List the reasons your child would give for not wanting to agree to abstain from illegal substance use or refusing to sign the contract.  What will you do if your child refuses to sing a contract agreeing to be substance-free?
0. Make an appointment to meet with your child in a place free from distraction (i.e., TV, phone, friends, siblings, etc.).  Allow one hour.

As you begin the contract process:

0. Clearly outline your position on the use of illegal substances and share your honestconcerns with your child.
0. Tell your children that you will always give them a safe, calm ride home with no discussion or questions unti lthe following day.
0. Ask your child to name other caring adults in their life that they would help them if they asked.
0. Write out the contract with your child.  The goal of the contract is not to make them feel trapped, but rather, to let them make choices, knowign what the consequences will be if they choose to use illegal substances.
0. Make one copy of the contract for you and one for your cihld.  You must obth sign the copies.  Give your child a copy at the end of your meeting.
0. DISENGAGE!  Don't bring up other issues.  Once the contract has been signed, the meeting is over.  Back off and let the contract take effect.

Action steps following the contract process:

• Do not lecture about the contract.  Constant reference to the contract will build anger and resentment in your child.
• monitor your child's behavior and activities.
• If your intuition tells you something is wrong, it probably is.  There is no need to wait for proof.  Trust your instincts.  Act now!
• Enforce the contract.  If your child violates the contract, enforce the consequences immediately!  Do not allow your child to renegotiate teh terms after the contract has been violated.
• Use escalating consequences.  Start with one of the least-severe consequences and increase severity as necessary.  If the contract is violated and a consequence has been instituted, then negotiated a new contract with a more severe consequences.

Sample Consequences

(Choose consequences that are meaningful to your child)

• Lose use of car, cell phone, TV, iPod, video games, computer, etc.
• Earlier curfew time
• Grounding from going out with friends or having friends visit
• Get a chemical dependency evaluation
• Particiapte in random drug testing
• Participate in drug education program
• Participate in chemical dependency treatment program
• Resign from extra-curricular activities
• Lose driver's license
• Parent will turn child in to choose or police

Examples of Parent / Child Contracts

Example 1

August 30, 2009

By signing this contract, I (child's name) _________________________________________ agree to remain alcohol, tobacco, and drug-free.  If I violate this contract, I agree to (insert consequence here) ______________________________________________.

_______________________________________                              _________________________________________________

Signature of Child                                                                                        Signature of Parent

Example 2

August 30, 2009

By signing this contract, I (child's name) ________________________________________ agree to the following:

0. To remain alcohol, tobacco and drug-free.
0. To not be present at parties or other gatherings where alcohol, tobacco, and drugs are being used or sold.
0. To call you, or another caring adult, for a ride home if I am ever in a situation that threatens my safety, and we will defer discussion about that situation until both of us can have a calm and caring conversation.

Besides you, I feel comfortable calling the following person(s):

________________________________________________          _________________________________________________

________________________________________________           _________________________________________________

If I violate this contract, I agree to (insert consequence here)

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________               ________________________________________________

Signature of Child                                                                                            Signature of Parent