COMMUNICATION with .....
YOUR CHILDREN THE SCHOOL OTHER PARENTS
COMMUNICATING WITH YOUR CHILDREN
Underage Drinking Prevention Begins with a Conversation
When do kids start thinking about alcohol? In eighth grade? "Not my son," says a parent in one of the new public service announcements from SAMHSA and the Ad Council. In teh PSA, the parent is talking about a lifesize mannequin. The message? "Real kids are curious about alcohol."
"SAMHSA's new public awareness campaign emphasizes that it's never to early to talk to children about the dangers of alcohol," said Fransces M. Harding, Director of the Agency's Center for Substance Abuse Prevention (CSAP). "The campaign's Web site shows parents how to take action." Go to www.underagedrinking.samhsa.gov to learn more.
"Parents with kids in middle school may think that they don't have to deal with underage drinking until their children reach high school," said Heidi Arthur, senior vice present for campaigns at the Ad Council.
However, accourding to SAMHSA's 2008 National Survey on Drug Use and Health (NSDUH), adults age 21 or older who starting using alcohol before age 15 were almost SIX times as likely to have alcohol dependence or abuse than adults who first used alcohol at age 21 or older (15.1 % vs. 2.6%).
Misconceptions
So, why don't parents take underage alcohol use more seriously? According to the Ad Council, the reason for the lack of urgency are complex.
Denial. Parents often turn to teh "other people's children" belief when someone mentions teenage drinking. Their child might get good grades or play sports, leading to a false sense of security among parents.
"No big deal." Parents also may undreestimate the seriousness of underage alcohol use, thinking that it's not harmful if their children drink a little or at family functions.
Hypocrisy. And then there's the "psychology of hypocrisy." Many parents who drank alcohol as teens may not know how to answer when their children ask why they can't drinking if mom or dad did.
Tools for Parents
Go to the Chemical Health Initaitives Parent Network website to learnn more about specific tools to start conversations at www.chi-parentnetwork.org.
OR, enter SAMHSA's new undreage drinking prevention campaign, which uses the digital landscape to reach parents. Visit www.stopalcoholabuse.gov to learn more.
The Campaign give parents concrete tools and tips for talking with their children about alcohol, even though such conversations are not easy.
Conversation Starters. Parents will find sample answers for several tough questions, including:
- "You drink alcohol - why can't I?"
- "Did you drinking alcohol when you were a kid?"
- "What if my friends ask me to drink?"
Action Plan. Answer three simple questions and get more tailored advice on talking to children about alcohol. The questions are:
- Is your child a boy or a girl?
- How old is your child?
- Have you talked to your child about drinking?
The resulting action plan includes three categoies: When To Talk, How To Talk, and Other Things You Can Do. For more information visit: www.stopalcoholabuse.gov.
Many parents hesitate to discuss alcohol, tobacco and other drug use with their children. Some of us believe that our kids won't use alcohol, tobacco, or other drugs. Others delay because we don't know what to say or how to say it, or we are afraid of putting ideas into our children's heads. Parents have more influence on their children's decisions before kids begin to use alcohol, tobacco or other drugs.
Make time for your son or daughter. Find an activity that you enjoy doing together. Pay attention and listen to your children. Don't do all the talking.
Give young people responsibility for their own problems, even though the consequences may be embarrassing.
Remove the stigma of failure from your home. Young people need to understand that the only failure is in not trying. Mistakes are not failures. Mistakes simply provide us with new information that can help us to succeed. We all need the freedom to be imperfect.
Encourage outside interests. Children who learn to have fun and cope with stress in healthy ways, through sports or other intesrests, will be less like to turn to alcohol and drugs.
Take a firm stand against any form of alcohol, tobacco or other drug use. Do not accept getting high or drug as normal at any age. Do not serve alcohol to underage kids and don't allow them to bring tobacco, alcohol or other drugs into your home. Establish rules, curfews and consequences. Exercise parental authority.
Teach resistance skills. Talk through strategies with them for saying "no" and make sure your son or daughter know whom to call upon for help.
Know where your son or daugher is. Pick a code phrase - "I have a toothache ...OR... I lost my contact lens..." that your child can use as a cue for you to come and pick them up anytime, no questions asked.
Be at home while your kids are getting ready to go out and be awake when they come home. When they are leaving, remind them of your expectations that they not drink, smoke or use other drugs. If you are awake when they come home, it will be easier for you to determine if they have been smoking, drinking or using other drugs.
COMMUNICATING WITH THE SCHOOL
All the schools in Goodhue County encourage parents to become involved with the school and our children's activities. As the primary educators of our children, the schools and parents forms a unique partnership.
Take advantage of volunteer opportunities. One of the best ways to learn what is going on at school and to get to know other parents is to volunteer at the school. The Parents' Organizations provide a myriad of ways for parents to become involved. You can sign up by calling Parents' Organization's members to offer your time. You can obtain their names and phone numbers from the school.
Know the school's Substance Abuse Policy. Actively support the policy.
Talk with the school courselor, principal or dean of students if you suspect a problem with alcohol, tobacco or other drug use because it is usually easier to take care of a problem in the earlier stages.
COMMUNICATING WITH OTHER PARENTS
The best offense in the battle against alcohol, tobacco and other drug use among children is to know what's going on. Being your child's friend should not be your primary role during this time in his or her life. It's important to resist the urge to win their favor or try too hard to please them. "All the other kids' parents tell them ...." is a tactic often used to make you feel alone in your decision making.
Get to know your son or daughter's friends. If your child is associating with kids who are using alcohol, tobacco or other drugs, your child is at risk.
Get to know the parents of your child's friends. Develop a "united front", network and discuss concerns openingly.
Develop family rules about alcohol. Share these rules with others. Recogizing that drinking under 21 is illegal, when parents establish clear "no alcohol" expectations, their children are less likely to begin drinking. While each family should set up rules that reflect their own beliefs and values, some possible rules about drinking can include:
- Young people will not stay at parties where alcohol is served.
- Young people will not ride in a car with others who have been drinking.
- Older siblings will not provide alcohol to younger siblings.
Be a good role model. Set good examples in your own life. Believe that kids can understand and accept that there are differences between what adults may do legally and what is legal for adolescents. Keep that distinction sharp.
Call to confirm the activities your child plans to attend. Find out if parties will be parent-supervised and that no alcohol will be permitted.
Ask for help. Give permission to other parents to call you if they see your child using alcohol, tobacco or other drugs. Encourage your children to ask for help if one of their friends is experiencing difficulties with drinking or drug use by telling you, talking with their parents or speaking directly with the friend.
Provide help. Call the parents of any boy or girl at any event whom you perceive to be high, stoned, or drunk. It takes a brave parent to call another with bad news. Be willing to provide a ride to protect the teen or to call the police if necessary.
Know what to do if you suspect a problem. Realize that no child is immune to alcohol, tobacco or other drug use. If you think there might be a problem, there probably is. Addiction is a disease, not a cause for shame. Seek professional help.
The Importance of Family Mealtime Family mealtime has been shown to have numerous benefits. According to the National Center on Addiction & Substance Abuse at Columbia University, compared to kids who have fewer than three family dinners per week, children and teens who have frequent family dinners are: 1. At 70% lower risk for substance abuse 2. Half as likely to try cigarettes 3. Half as likely to be daily cigarette smokers 4. Half as likely to try marijuana 5. Half as likely to get drunk monthly 6. One third less likely to try alcohol 7. Likelier to get better grades in school 8. Less likely to have friends who drink alcohol & use marijuana 9. Likelier to have parents who take responsibility -teen drug use 10. Almost 40% likelier to say future drug use will never happen |